Blogging has always eluded me — I have so much personal writing that I hesitate to put it up on a website unless it’s in the form of a professionally-crafted essay. But there is just so much to talk about these days and so much going on in my life that…well…here I am.
Between my bouts of underemployment and vacillations about my career, I’ve come to the point where I’ve had to move deeper into myself to find satisfaction in life. Spinning yarn and getting back into knitting and crochet have been the key to this journey — in a way I never before felt was possible. In some ways it’s strange because I came back to fiber-related arts a few years ago while studying in a doctorate program. My interest in what I was studying waned, but my desire to create something tangible and more rewarding (not to mention cheaper) soon infused everything I did with a purpose. I could see the fruits of my labor much more readily than when I was studying and teaching and, ultimately through my craft, started to realize that the only person I had to satisfy was myself.
After my dad’s death a year ago my need to touch and feel something concrete became even stronger. I guess I was inspired by his passion for everything related to motorcycles and his need to create through his work. When I looked back at my life I realized that my passion had been misplaced and that all I had worked toward in my careeer wasn’t fueled by desire, but by fear. A month after I got back from his service I picked up my hooks and needles after a year hiatus and have yet to put them down.
I hope that my thoughts and mistakes help anyone who reads this not only to understand me but also to be amused, heartened, and inspired by the human foibles that define my life each day.