No blogs for a while cuz life has just been too crazy. Doug’s still looking for work, I worked for 2 months teaching and now we’re just trying to figure out our next move (literally and figuratively).
Can’t believe Alex is already 2&1/2! This is an older photo from about 6 months ago… She’s such a big girl already!
This one is more recent — on a trip to Sea World.
The conversation I had with the woman at the local taco stand began innocently enough. The place was full and there was an extra space at the picnic table I was sitting at with my daughter, Alex. The woman was my age, maybe a little older, and immediately after she asked if she could join us said, “So what classes are you taking?”
Now in most situations this would be a normal topic of conversation. Kids nowadays have so many extracurricular classes and activities — especially in my neighborhood where most of the kids from pre-school age on up take a lot of prep courses to get into good schools. I looked over at Alex and then returned my gaze to my newfound mom-companion.
“None right now, she’s not ready.”
The mom was shocked. I could see it all clearly in the expression on her face. It’s almost like I committed a mom-crime or something. I mean how could I not have my child enrolled in several different classes? What kind of mom was I? Maybe I should be written up for child neglect. After all, who in their right mind didn’t have their child going to classes yet?
I reached over to tug at Alex’s foot. “Nope, no classes.” Alex let out a little cry. We were getting close to naptime. I gently rocked the infant seat that she was reclining in, talked a little bit more and then after a few minutes bid the mom goodbye and took my 8 month old back to the car.
Nope, no classes.
For the longest time I was the only mom I knew who didn’t go to classes with my baby. Most of the moms had their kids doing everything from the free parenting classes at our local community college to baby swim lessons. “Music Together”, Mommy and Me, Gymboree, and baby signing classes all were names tossed around when our kids hit the 4 month mark. My fellow mom friends were always talking about trying something new, packing their barely cognizant little ones off to classes that cost more per 20 minute session than the 90 minute yoga classes I used to take at an upscale studio. The small talk at the taco stand wasn’t something out of the ordinary. Everyone, it seems, takes it as normal that kids who can’t even crawl should have something ‘educational’ to occupy their time.
Forget staring at the ceiling fan, playing with stacking blocks, or raiding the Tupperware drawer. The best way to ‘raise’ a kid is to start them off right – by putting them into a structured environment where they can ‘learn’ something. News flash – kids are learning each and every second of the day, and here’s the rub – one of the best ways they can learn is if we get out of their way.
Childhood used to be all about fun. Now it’s about who is doing what where.
Don’t get me wrong. I did eventually sign Alex up for parenting class once she was about a year old when it no longer interfered with her nap schedule. She gets to play with a lot of cool toys – many of which are old standbys that have been around as long as I have – as well as interact with other kids. I get to hang out with other moms, kvetch and eat a donut now and again. There is a schedule but there’s no agenda for the kids. They have song time, story time, and free play. It’s a great deal. Especially since all this is… free.
Free non-structured playtime with toys and a few carbs once or twice a week should be good enough. But, for many of the moms in my class, they still have their kids signed up for even more things to do. Trying to organize playdates with these moms is also always an issue. “We have ‘x’ class that day” being a common refrain. Just recently at a birthday party one of the moms had to rush their kid off to his class, just popping in to say a quick “Hi. Happy Birthday!” Poor kid missed having ice cream cake just so he could go to…school.
I’m all for kids playing together and learning how to be social. Playdates, which I shunned pre-momhood, I have learned to accept as a necessity — getting out of the house a must for my sanity. But I just can’t understand why anyone in their right mind would shell out big bucks to put their kids in classes. My best memories of childhood are of running around, playing in the park, getting dirty, and making up games with other kids. Parents were actually kind of boring. They never could come up with good storylines or understand how a box could become a castle with just a few blankets and a broom.
In many ways I feel like I’m a mom from another planet. I could really care less if my child learns about music theory by the time she’s 2. It seems enough that she sings her ABCs on her own while beating some pots and pans on the floor. She’s experimenting with rhythm and melody in her own unique way. Why would I pay $100 per month to have a ‘childhood development expert’ teach something that my child already is doing intuitively?
So these days when I say I have no class, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Things have been so topsy-turvy (maybe that should be the title of this blog) these days that it’s just nice to enjoy the really peaceful and quiet moments.
I went back to work part-time training ESL teachers to teach. I’ll be doing it every other month for the next few months. It’s nice to work but teaching really drains me and I remember now why I love writing and why I wanted to give up teaching.
Kiddo turned 18 months this week — hard to imagine! Wish I had a decent camera to take a good picture of her!
I just keep thinking that each moment in the moment feels so wonderful. Who cares what the future will bring because now is pretty darn cool!
The longer I am a mom the more I realize just how deep, tender and aching a mother’s love is.
Each day with Alex opens me up to wonders I never knew possible.
Two days ago I got a phone call from my former Venetian neighbor, Greta, telling me the terrible news. Donald, who was truly the heart and soul of our Venice California enclave known as 28 Sunset was gone.
Gone.
I only found out this morning what had happened.
He was hit by a bus.
Even though I haven’t seen him since I was 5 months pregnant with Alex, I can’t stop the tears from falling. Donald was my age. He was my neighbor for 7 or so years. So many of my memories of Venice include him. Just the other day, as I was exfoliating my face with a J-A-S-O-N product, I was thinking about him because he gave it to me.
Donald was an intense person. A fighter. I can’t help but think that if we had more people like Donald in our world taking care of just a small piece of it, it’d be a better place.
Donald was the first person to tell me about 9-11. I remember going to work that Tuesday morning and out comes Donald, arms waving wildly and excitedly, “We’ve been bombed!”. The only time I saw the footage of the Twin Towers was that morning on his TV.
One time our apartment was being stalked by a guy who was stealing our bikes and harassing/stalking our fellow neighbor, Lisa. Donald and I followed the guy twice trying to catch up with him and tell him to get lost or at least get his license plate number.
We had a stray cat in our building who had obviously been dumped by someone. Donald took her in, named her Mickey and took care of her until she passed. He kept her ashes in an urn because he missed her so much.
For the longest time I heard yelling and thought it was a woman screaming until I realized that it was actually George, Donald’s parrot, calling out his name. George was a fixture in our apartment complex.
If it weren’t for Donald catching the person who was renting our crazy-shut-in manager’s parking space in the act, we would probably still have the crazy manager to contend with.
Donald and my neighbor Lisa came over for a vegetarian Christmas dinner I had fixed one year. He brought a lovely red wine and we had a great time.
I’d always get free samples of great organic cosmetics from Donald. He was always so nice about passing cool things along to others.
For the longest time we had a tattered white swinging couch-thing in our courtyard that Donald had brought in. It was always so much fun to sit on it and hang out. When the couch had finally seen its last legs, he rescued a really cool table from down the street and set it up with a few chairs and potted plants. The first few pictures of things from my blog were taken using that table as a backdrop. He was always concerned about creating a nice shared communal space in our courtyard.
He was always excited to see doves and hummingbirds nesting in our courtyard trees and would do anything he could to protect them from the gardeners and stray cats.
When Donald got his new car he was super duper retentive about getting scratches. I remember coming home one day with a note on my door saying I owed him money for a scratch. I took him outside, opened my door and showed him that there was no way my door could’ve made that ding and everything was cool. When I got my new car, he showed me how to use a paint marker to cover up dings.
I loved looking at his paintings and wished he could’ve been discovered by a rich and famous art collector. He was one of the most talented people I know.
Donald always championed things around our building. He discovered that a pipe had burst and saved our complex from being flooded and overcome with mildew. He always watched over our parking spots and made certain our apartment building was a safe place to be.
To me Donald symbolized Venice in all its artistic bohemian intensity.
Rest in peace, Donald. You’ll be missed by many.
Nope, haven’t forsaken the blog yet. I guess most of us go through a period of time when we either get too busy or overwhelmed to update regularly. That’s me!
Thanks for the nice comments from some of you. I would love to post patterns and such, and hopefully will someday. Right now if I can get more than 30 minutes of time on the computer a day, I’m really lucky.
Things have been really strange lately. I guess this past year has been both wonderful and sad at the same time. Recently I lost one of my dear uncles. His wife had passed away only 8 months earlier. It’s not only sad for me, but I really think about my cousins a lot and about how hard it must be to lose both parents in 8 months. They were a really close family who had been through a lot of hard times but my uncle and aunt were all about loving others and showed their kindness to their family in subtle but powerful ways.
We’ve also been perpetually sick here in the burbs. I think the last day I felt totally fine was about 3 weeks ago… Ah well…
Hopefully I’ll be able to post some fun and positive things fairly soon. Can’t believe I haven’t posted a FO for over a year (even though I have pics of some…)
Our Strawberry Monster
Today’s my 2 year blogiversary. Last year I was a little too busy to blog what with giving birth (or close to it) and all. But this year I thought I’d give my blog a little more attention.
When I first started this blog, I really wanted it to be a place where I wrote essays about my daily life. No small thing was too small. Most of my writing I really wanted to focus on fiber, since fiber is what speaks to me no matter how long between projects. I spent a lot of time on my initial blog posts, hoping to hone my writing skills. I also wanted to post patterns and tutorials on my blog. My goals were to increase my traffic. My hope was that someone would ‘discover’ my writing and that I could parlay that into something larger.
But, two months into my blogging adventures, life suddenly changed. I got engaged, moved, pregnant and married all within the course of 6 months. I just didn’t have the energy to devote myself to my blog the way I wanted to. In fact I probably posted more blogs in my first month than I have this past year.
Oh well. C’est la vie. My life is so rich these days and I will always have a blog (or whatever will be around in coming years) to return to when I have more time.
For the moment, though, I thought I would post links to my favorite posts. The posts that really tell a lot about me and that might have gotten buried in a chronological sidebar archive somewhere along the way.
Okay, so for the past 2 years I have put off getting onto Facebook. I mean, the last thing I need is to try to keep up with one more thing these days, right?
But last Wednesday, admist the chaos that seems to be our constant state of existence these days (which is odd, because my life seems oddly monotonous, but oh well…) I decided to bite the bullet and get onto Facebook. It’s so addictive I can’t believe it! I found so many people I used to know and it seems so much easier than email to keep up with people. So, everything in my life has suffered this week because of a little social networking.
I know it’s just a matter of time, though, before it just becomes an easy routine and the newness of it wears off.
The chaos part is that we finally found out this week about Doug’s job. I could totally rant and rave about injustice (the kiss-ups in his office and the people who do little or nothing of course are remaining) but Doug has officially been (or will be) laid off. I was so sad and upset but we are lucky that Doug has a lot of contacts here in LA, a while remaining on his contract, and a really good separation package.
The good thing was that to keep things cool in the office, Doug got the rest of the week off. One of our favorite things to do on days off — especially when it rains — is to go to used bookstores. I had spied one in Covina, a town a few miles to the east of us, The Book Shop. They had a really nice selection of books and were reasonably priced. I found a really neat book on taaniko, which is a Maori-style of weaving that doesn’t use a loom. I can’t wait to read it and try this technique and will hopefully post more since there isn’t much on the web about it.
We also found a really cute little yarn shop in Azusa called All About Yarn. They have a nice selection of South American yarns (kinda like Malabrigo but less expensive). It was very cozy, and the co-owner, Pilar, was super friendly. I love how they had a mix of affordable yarns (for those of us on serious yarn budgets this year) and more expensive yarns. They had a lot of brands I hadn’t heard of, which is refreshing. This would be a great stop for westsiders if you are going to the Renaissance Fair or LA County fair — it’s pretty much right on the way.
Hopefully the next few weeks things will settle down a little. Job-hunting is never fun, but Doug seems really excited to dive into the fray and I’ve been looking for more freelance work in addition to my job grading English tests on-line.
We’re still here. Fridge is on the fritz and things have been on hold with a really lengthy cold, but otherwise we’re okay. Kiddo, after finally learning to crawl has decided to take on cruising almost immediately. (Like 3 days after mastering the creeping crawl). So we have to worry about babyproofing which is hard in a place with few closets… Oh well! She seems much happier now that she is mobile.
Here’s a picture of the two of us taken in October. It’s one of my favorites…
Ellen a fellow SnB’er recently posted this meme on her blog. Thought it’d be fun to do…
The rules, bold the things you’ve done & post on your blog.
1. Started your own blog. Um….
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band. If this means playing the flute in grammar school…
4. Visited Hawaii – Once in 1998. Stayed on the North Shore in a youth hostel. Had a bunch of stoned surfers as roommates.
5. Watched a meteor shower – Many times. The most recent being 3 years ago with Doug on the beach… Made a wish on a falling star and look at where we are today!
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland – A few times as a kid. We’d come out to visit relatives and either have a choice between Disneyland, Universal Studios or Marineland (yes, it was that long ago…)
8. Climbed a mountain – Many times. Climbed a few in New Hampshire when I was a kid, hiked a lot in Slovakia when I taught there and was part of a hiking club in Japan.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo – Often. I was a total performer/drama geek as a kid. First solo – Miss Polly had a dolly in kindergarten for a neighborhood play.
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris – On a high school trip.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch – Crochet, knitting, woodblock print-making, and lord knows what else.
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning. Worse case in Japan – egg salad sandwich…
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Not the best thing to do if you are claustrophobic…
18. Grown your own vegetables – So far just tomatoes and basil… Used to grow more in Japan, though.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train Many times, but does one really sleep in third class on an Eastern European train???
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked. Couple of times in Eastern Europe with my friend.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort. If you could call it that – wasn’t really all that great, but did this a lot as a kid.
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person On my honeymoon
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors Been to Poland and the part of East Slovakia which was part of the Ukraine back in the time when my great-grandfather came to the States.
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language Slovak and Indonesian. Even though I took Japanese class, a lot of that was self-study…Studied a little bit of Hungarian at one time too…
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. The halcyon days of living in Japan!
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing Once with my brother in Utah.
40. See Michelangeo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. A lot. My friend Kevin and I would go all the time in Japan to practice our Japanese.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. A lot seeing as I lived at the beach for 7 years.
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted .
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling – Diving in Hawaii and Southeast Asia. The Perhentian Islands being the most incredible with snorkeling in Thailand a close second.
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater Most recently in May with Doug and the kiddo
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business A couple of craft endeavors, none successful. Tried to start my own study abroad business after college but couldn’t get funding…
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia Only then it was the Soviet Union – summer study abroad during college
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp. On a high school trip. It was really freaky and not something I would ever do again.
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial Grew up in DC, so saw it many times.
71. Eaten Caviar Several times. The first being in Moscow when it was scarce – my friends had a good black market contact.
72. Pieced a quilt – Several. Used to make a lot of quilts
73. Stood in Times Square – Several times.
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London. On a high school trip.
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle In Bali
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car. Two. The second one, the one I have now, I got it for less than the dealer paid for it. After I had bargained for the car, the dealership manager came out and shook my hand saying that no one had ever bargained that hard for a car and done so well…
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper. In Florida for a story about Paintball.
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve. I might have, but I can’t remember (a few too many crazy New Years Eve’s in my life!)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating Fish. Once. Never again.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life. Saved a little girl from drowning when I was a camp counselor. The lifeguards were too busy flirting with the head counselor.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous. A few people in my field who are famous. Did talk to Dustin Hoffman once.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one – My grandmother, great-aunt, babysitter from when I was little and my dad. Most recently my aunt.
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee When I was 11. Still have a little scar from it on my hand.
Kelly tagged me about a month ago for a meme to write down 7 of the things that I love in life. So, here goes (not in any order)…
1. Doug. He’s my best friend, my true companion. I love him so much and know that the day I met him 3 years ago was the day I lost my heart completely. Even when things are rough, he’s there for me.
2. Alex. It’s true what they say about your own kids. There is a kind of love that comes from deep within and spills out unconditionally when your baby smiles at you.
3. Traveling. I love to travel and am at my happiest when I am out exploring new places. Even though I haven’t really had a chance to travel in the past few years, in my heart I’m still an explorer and know that someday not only will my backpack and I be reacquainted, but I’ll have at least 2 new and wonderful traveling companions. (Who knows, there may be more if we have another kiddo…)
4. Reading. There is nothing like sitting down with a book and getting totally immersed in another person’s life experiences. (I’m a fan of non-fiction.) Probably has a lot to do with my love of traveling — exploring the world through another’s eyes when I can’t afford to do so on my own.
5. Fiber. The feel of wool between my fingers is one of the most luscious things I can think of. I’ve always been attracted to string, yarn and fabric.
6. Color. I always seem to look at the world through the lens of colors. There is no better eye candy in this world than the gray of a dark stormy sky over the mountains, the crisp variety of greens after a rain shower, or the sherbert-color of a winter sunset. When I was a quilter my favorite thing to do was pick out colors of fabrics for a quilt. The rest of the quilting experience paled in comparison to that initial tango with color.
7. Nature. If I could, I’d live in a cabin in the woods. Although I love the city and am a city-girl, when I’m on a hike or staying in the country I feel like my spirit has been scrubbed clean. It’s hard to stress out or worry when I’m sitting on a rock listening to a brook surrounded by trees rustling in the breeze. Before I was dating Doug I’d go off to the beach, take a hike, or drive to a nearby canyon when I needed to replenish myself.
Thanks so much for all of your nice comments about Alex. She did just fine during surgery — she is such a trooper. Doug and I were the ones who I think had a tougher time.
The morning of surgery — around 4 AM –I thought Alex would be grumpy having been woken up early and without food. But she seemed really excited — like she was going on a trip. It was only a little before surgery (around 7AM) that she started to get a little fussy. Luckily they give her a sedative before taking her into the OR, so she soon forgot all about being grumpy. The surgery was about 3 hours long. Doug and I walked down the street for breakfast with a hospital beeper and then returned to wait for only about 90 minutes or so. We were then taken upstairs to wait for Alex while they were doing post-op stuff on her. At one point we heard a crying baby down the hall. We popped our head out of the door and there was Alex being wheeled into recovery. We totally knew her cry from so far away! We stayed in recovery for a long time waiting for a bed in the post-op ward. Luckily Alex was a little sleepy and out of it. It was just hard for us to sit there. It was strange but during this whole process I was unable to cry or let myself feel anything. I noticed that I had to detach from the situation in order to be strong and only cried once we were in recovery.
Alex slept a lot in the hospital which is good considering we had to share a room with a little boy who had just had brain surgery and who cried all night long. (Poor little thing, I felt so badly for both him and his mom…) Two days after coming home, Alex was rolling around on the floor and talking. Then…
She got the flu. Not just any old flu but that terrible one that is making the rounds of all the playgroups and pre-schools. The vomiting-nausea-diarrhea one. First it struck Doug the day after we got home. He recovered pretty quickly — was feeling better in 3 days. Then Alex got it the Sunday after her operation. I knew after she spent the morning getting sick all over me that it was just a matter of time before I’d get it. We spent most of Sunday in the ER. They didn’t do anything for us and we wound up back two days later because Alex wasn’t able to eat or drink anything. By this time I had gotten the flu. So, one week exactly after her surgery we were back in the hospital. We we admitted for observation. I stayed with Alex because Doug had to work. Luckily we had our own room. We were released the next day and by Saturday after Thanksgiving our little one was starting to eat again.
It’s been a long couple of weeks…
Alex & Doug pre-surgery
Alex & Mama post-surgery
Alex post-surgery. She insisted on holding her own oxygen mask.
I have been putting off writing about this, but little Alex has a kidney condition and will undergo an operation this coming Tuesday. Luckily both her kidneys are working well, she just has a partial obstruction of one of her ureters (the tubes going from the kidney to the bladder). It’s a fairly simple procedure as far as they go, but still a major operation.
